Young Ludwig, in Austrian national costume, with his backing group, the Raving Nymphos, urinates on his audience, starting a fascinating trend in rock history. He gained a certain notoriety for being of a similar inebriate disposition to Schlegel, though his wrist-raising talents pale in comparison to those of Friedrich Nietzsche whose walrus mustache and luxuriant nasal hair could comfortably imbibe a whole litre of best Pilsener. In addition to his philosophical talents, Wittgenstein was an amazing lover, prodigious onanist (he sometimes masturbated as many as 8 times in one day, thus earning himself the sobriquet of the ‘Complete Wanker’), had perfect pitch, and could whistle, unaccompanied, entire Bach concertos through his left nostril (he was less talented in the right which he used exclusively for blowing his nose). Wittgenstein, who was nothing if not a realist and pragmatist, argued that the true meaning of all words is not to be found in any dictionary but in a golden casket kept in an underground vault somewhere in County Cork, Ireland by highly-evolved little green people from the Canis Major dwarf galaxy. Wittgenstein's entire work is predicated on the question of the nature of language, something which intellectual luminary Bertrand Russell never got his mighty mazard around.

Further complicating the matter, all of these works except the last one ('Philosophical Invaginations', 1953) have now been demonstrated by precocious schoolchildren ('a six-year old child knows as much about philosophy as Wittgenstein' - Ronnie Tomkins, a 6 year old child) to have the truth content of a Tory Party election manifesto (i.e. Ignoramuses.Īs all intelligent and well-informed people know, Wittgenstein, as well as being a lifelong enemy of all forms of intellectual snobbery, was the author of some of the most important philosophical works ever, which no one understood except for his now-dead students and a number of clones called 'Wittgensteinians', philosophical successors who dress exactly the way Wittgenstein used to (sports jacket, open-neck shirt, Lederhosen, high-heeled walking boots) and earn huge amounts pretending they understand his ideas through the 'bewitchment' of language (by which he meant - er, see below somewhere). Some taxi-drivers (see below) interviewed as part of the very extensive and exhaustive in-depth research carried out for the purposes of this article confessed, rather shamefacedly, that they had never heard of him. On the other hand, he is thought by many door-to-door salesmen, greengrocers and other non-intellectual persons who have very little interest in or knowledge of philosophy to be a twentieth century Hungarian pianist. gurning, charades, bee-keeping, self-flagellation, cutting toenails, ping-pong).

Moreover, Wittgenstein is widely thought to be the greatest philosopher of the 20th century and his philosophical insights have a profound and incalculable significance for many different areas of human endeavor (e.g. This might have had something to do with his very strong Austrian accent but no one is sure. Wittgenstein was an extraordinarily deep thinker whom no one, not even fellow philosophers, claimed to understand fully during his lifetime.

OK, neither do I.) and his habit of tearing up his notes at the end of his lectures (which he called 'gigs') and smashing his deck chair into splinters, sometimes over the heads of select and privileged members of the audience who would afterwards declare they had been 'bowled over' and ‘blown away’ by the sheer intellectual power of the man, when in fact they had all sustained brain damage. Ludwig Hieronymus Kashmir Wittgenstein (26 April 1889 – 29 April 1951), known as the 'Rock Star of Modern Philosophy' on account of his uncanny resemblance to David Bowie (see photo opposite. The first I would purge, and the second I would date if I had the chance ” ~ Josef Stalin on Ludwig Wittgenstein For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Ludwig wittgenstein gay